We are Enough.

There's something we talk about a lot at AADA, a simple truth we have to be able to trust ourselves with in order to be really great performers: We Are Enough. So many people who act or perform try to put on a show- they pretend, create characters, etc- but in reality a lot of the most fascinating, moving, unforgettable moments come when people are really honest, when they are themselves reacting to their circumstances. It's a rather deep philosophy, and a little bit hard for many actors to believe- including myself. Yet it's true. If anything they've said at AADA thus far has been proven through the work, it's this. When the people working (whether it be in a scene or a song or even a dance) let go and are totally honest and open with their instincts and feelings, we all sit forward in our seats. We all look up from whatever we're doing. We can't take our eyes off of them.

 It's an interesting idea, isn't it? When people are themselves, fully expressed and uninhibited, they are most fascinating. That could probably be applied to a lot more than acting class.

As is generally the case with life, it comes and goes in a rush; life is a rollercoaster of emotions and events, and don't you try to deny it. In one day someone can say something to me that lands and festers like an unattended cut until it messes up my whole day, and then later that night I can attend the most fun midnight showing of Harry Potter of all time and be truly happy. Let me tell you: This was truly the BEST midnight showing EVER. It probably had something to do with the general nerdiness and excitement of the group I went with. We were the ones sprinting down the streets of New York, casting spells at innocent standers-by and screaming as we were pursued by imaginary death eaters. If that didn't attract your attention, you could have just checked out the lightning scars on our foreheads. On top of all that, we managed to be allowed to watch in a special, set-aside theater with probably no more than twenty other people who were all just as excited as us; naturally we all became friends. Not to mention we took some pretty rockin' pictures and I was lookin' fine. By the time I went to sleep that night, I couldn't have cared less what that person said that upset me so much.

I can't not look back, then, and wonder why I even bothered being upset in the first place? Whatever was said to me (or ever is, for that matter) is never going to really matter if I'm fully comfortable with myself and who I am. And what right have I to ever really not be comfortable with myself? Was I not created this way? Was I a mistake? Certainly not. And that's an awesome thought. And you know what else is cool? It works both ways. When I'm fully comfortable with myself and being totally uninhibited and real, everyone else thinks I'm pretty neat too. Those few who don't probably have some personal issues of their own to work out.

In less than 24 hours, I will be heading home for the first time since school started; by home I mean to my family, those fantastical, amazing people who always love me for who I am. Still, I have a feeling it's going to feel a little weird to be back in a small town. Isn't it crazy that I have three weeks left of this semester? This city has been an incredible, totally unique place to live, and I would lie if I said I haven't gotten used to the big city. There's just something about stepping onto the streets of New York. I'll miss it while I'm gone. They're setting everything up for the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade that goes right down my street, and a little part of me wishes I could be hear to see it. Having said that, I CAN'T WAIT TO BE HOME AND I AM SHAKING WITH EXCITEMENT!!

Now for the big news: I am getting an apartment! Me and my friend Jake have started the application process for a lovely 4-bedroom on 100th St for nice little price. In typical NYC fashion, it happened in a heartbeat. We saw it one day and signed for it the next. As for those two extra bedrooms, we may have to put them up for rent on craigslist, but as of right now I believe they will be filled by two delightful ladies who I happen to love very much. Their names start with A & J. I will say nothing more...

We did the final performances of our first scenes today in class, and again I had one of my classmates tell me it was fantastic; my personal best, they said. Even our Bill Murray-look-alike teacher, Chris, had nothing but praise for us. It's good to hear those things. It's encouraging. It's affirming.

I am enough. You are enough. We are brilliant, gorgeous, handsome, talented, and fabulous; it scares us a little bit sometimes. But it's true. And when you are you, you are real, you are uninhibited and open and happy, people will not be able to take their eyes off of you. You are fearfully and wonderfully made; a fascinating and beautiful creation. And those people who don't like it aren't worth a second thought.

Love Overflowing...

I've been feeling an urge to change the world again lately. Every now and then it sneaks up on me and really hits me like BAM! Probably has to do with the scene work we've been doing in Acting class, which me and my partner Kait have been kicking butt at if I do say so myself. We had our midterm evaluations which consisted of all of our teachers stating what they thought of us on a sheet of paper and then meeting privately with our Acting teacher; essentially, they all love me. I kid, I kid. There are plenty of things for me to work on. My Acting teacher's main complaint was that I wasn't being quite the leader that he felt I was supposed to be. Story of my life...

Two new favorites from the Gym Chronicles: An entire team of some indistinguishable sport, all foreign. Probably Austrian or Swedish. Don't know why I would assume that since I have no idea what Austrians or Swedes look or sound like, but there you go. They all came in together in their spandex outfits and pulled the mats out into the middle of the floor and stretched in an unorganized manner. This lasted maybe 10 minutes. Then they all finished, stacked the mats back in the corner, and left. Good workout, huh? Second favorite: An old man who stood next to his wife jogging on the treadmill the whole time she ran, waiting for her to finish because he just wanted to be with her. His only activity was asking whether she needed more water or a towel or anything. Altogether now: AWW!

I watched Toy Story 3 with some friends from school tonight, and I must ardently warn any college freshman against watching that movie unless you are prepared for a big fat cry-fest. Lemme tell ya, we was all in tears. Such a good movie, but boy does it hit home right about now!

Home... I've been missing that place lately. When I think of home, I think of a place where there's love overflowing... I love that song. That's one thing that NYC, with all it's endless thrills, adventures, and excitement, is not: a place where there's love overflowing. That place is home, with my incredible, amazing, irreplaceable family who I miss like a you-know-what. THIRTEEN days until I go home; yes, I am counting. And yes, I cannot wait for those thirteen days to go by. 

However, there's just something about stepping out onto the streets of New York City. It's so alive, people everywhere, all ambitious (Some a little too ambitious. I'm talking to YOU, lady who nearly took me down on the sidewalk and then bustled off as if it was my fault.). This city is a place of energy, dreams, and people. People with the capacity to love; only most of the time they don't. They're too scared, or too busy, or selfish. Maybe they've spent their life never really thinking of anywhere as 'home', never giving or receiving love? But what if they did? You can either let this city make you feel very small, or you can feed off that energy and feel on top of the world when you step onto the sidewalk. It ain't always easy, but as much as I can... I choose the latter. And maybe when I get filled up with that energy, I could send it back out, in the form of love... overflowing from me and infecting the people around me, filling hearts... a world full of love... and then maybe this city, this world could be, just a little bit, like Home.

(At least that's my cheesy, dramatic, eternally optimistic idea.)