When You're Smiling, the Whole World Smiles with You

I couldn't sleep last night. Don't ask why.  A bit more on that later.

Life is moving along here. School is good: In Movement (aka Dance) we had to learn a short routine in like 10-15 minutes and then perform it to music with our partner. It wasn't until the instructor, Robert, said so that I realized it was a simulated audition. I was one of five he said he would have hired had it been the real deal. Obviously his standards were a little different than reality, but still... it made me feel a little better about myself that day. Other than that, I would just like to say it is a little ridiculous how much I end up laying on the floor at my school. Literally, like every class.

Random adventures seem to be the name of game, from going out to a restaurant on Broadway where the waiters sing to you (job opportunity??), to invading the student lounge with birthday cake and party hats for roomie Greg's bday. I experienced my first rainy NYC day the other day, and loved it. For some strange reason I cannot even begin to explain, the minute I stepped outside and felt the cool rain hit me, a big smile came over my face. I popped up my umbrella and put in my headphones and listened to my jams as I walked to school (An experience I highly recommend.).

Still. I couldn't sleep last night.

It was one of those weird, tossing and turning nights when you can't stop thinking about things that you don't even really understand. A million questions coursed through my mind all night, a million little insecurities, questioning my own decisions, the way people think of me, my talent, etc. It carried over into the morning and made for a blah day at school where I did not feel like working at all.

Now here's where it gets a little interesting: My entire group had an off day today, noticeable enough that our acting teacher cut short our class by almost an hour because the work just wasn't happening. The dynamic had changed, the energy wasn't there. Something was different. Either today was just a generally blah day, or... I had a much greater effect on the group than I realized. Who knows. But it's worth thinking about.

The lesson is this: I am so blessed with so many opportunities other people wouldn't even dream of, with family and friends anyone would kill for. What right have I to not to be grateful and happy? God has given me so much to be thankful for, and I never know how far a bad attitude about my stituation is reaching. Wouldn't it have been better if I had just shown up for classes with a smile and given it my all? Would acting class have ended an hour early, or we would have gotten good work done? Wouldn't it have been better if I'd looked on the bright side?

We all have days when it's tough; that's part of life. The other part is being enough of a grown-up to look beyond what gets you down and see the good. As further proof of my point, this is the second time I'm writing this entry. The first time my computer blipped and I lost all the writing. Lemme tell ya. That tested me. But I took a walk, regained some perspective, and sat down to write it again.

I challenge you to do this. No matter what happened the day before, wake up each morning and tell yourself it's a new day. Today you're going to be outgoing, happy, and productive. I've made a pact with myself to do just that. Today is what you make of it. Today you're going to greet the world with a smile. Because when you're smiling, the whole world smiles with you.