Today I agreed to film a scene for a short film by recommendation (I totally don't audition anymore). We were filming in Riverside Park (a lovely place, btw), and the last shot consisted of me walking up while talking on the phone, and then noticing two men fighting, getting scared, and turning and walking quickly the opposite direction. Obviously, there wasn't actually anyone fighting. I was, ya know, acting. Well I did it like a pro, but one passerby woman with her dog became quite concerned about what I was seeing that she wasn't- I was clearly quite disturbed by the vacant meadow in front of me. Eventually she noticed the guy filming and figured it out... and then shuffled sheepishly away. It was rather hilarious.
My AADA classmates all graduated last week. Gotta say, I feel a bit like a proud uncle or something; that is a talented bunch of people. They're all embarking on the tumultuous journey of being an actor in NYC. Good luck, my friends. Somehow I think you'll all be fabulous. It's funny the way life works, though, isn't it? The irony is not lost on me that pretty close to the same time my parents would have been coming to New York to watch me graduate had I stayed in school, they'll instead be coming to watch me perform in my first NYC production.
I've gotta say, it is still so great just to be working on a show. I have such a good feeling about this one. I love my cast, the director is so smart, and it all just feels like the place I'm supposed to be. That is such a great feeling to have. Meanwhile, I'm still filming the short film with Boy Wonder Ben Konigsberg; there's beginning to be a joke that those of us who signed on for this movie will have work every Saturday for the next two years. I think we'll be finishing it all up this Friday. But who knows? I will keep acting for that kid as along as he will let me.
For some reason, despite my ever-dwindling bank account, I can't seem to make myself start working part-time. Chalk it up to a delightful mix of wanting to avoid stress, wishing I could just be an actor and that's all, and, of course, that old reliable laziness. I think I will probably get on the whole unemployment thing tomorrow (like I haven't told myself that a hundred times before).
Life is good. I'm doing what I love, I'm having more of a life than I've had in like a year (a true miracle for me), and I'm greeting everything with an attitude based on love; life is lovable. There is a beauty to life if you will let yourself see it, even in the hardest of times, even when you've been 'done wrong'. I'm speaking from personal (even recent) experience. Move on. Keep going. Learn from it, and love it. I'll end with this quote, which I've liked for a very long time from Virginia Woolf: "To look life in the face, always, to look life in the face, and to know it for what it is... at last, to love it for what it is. And then to put it away."
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Staten Island Adventures
I had an adventure last week. The weekend prior, we hadn't finished filming the short film I've been working on and I was supposed to come in on Easter Sunday to finish it up. Amy and Julie had decided to go to Washington DC for the weekend, and I was going to have to stay behind. They drove Amy's car (which has been the source of unbelieveable amounts of aggravation for her) to DC, and parked it in a garage close to our house when they got back around midnight Sunday night. It was requested that little unemployed me drive the car out to Staten Island where Amy's friend lives and park it. After much cajoling, I was talked into it and I convinced Liz to go with me.
For those of you unaware, Staten Island is technically a part of New York City, but it's about as far away you can get without leaving. It's across the river, on a different landmass. We mapped out our course, spent half an hour finding the garage they had parked in, went sprinting back to the apartment to grab the keys (wouldn't have gotten far without those), and set off. The drive took FOREVER. We were supposed to be back by 2 (Liz had work at five); 2 o'clock rolled around and we were sitting in traffic on a bridge. But jamming to CDs, surviving on a canteen of Dr. Pepper and box of Cheez Its had a wonderful feeling of home to it; we weren't too distressed. Then we reached our destination. We could not find this guy's address anywhere. We saw the numbers before and after, but not his. Eventually we assumed he must be one of a cluster of apartments and we parked the car in the according parking lot. The bus came that we were to take back to Manhattan, and we were not allowed to enter, told that our Metro cards were not sufficient for this oh-so-grand 'express bus'. Liz was beginning to get concerned. The only other bus option was a local that would drop us at the ferry- no way we would make it back in time! So after some kind help from a man waiting for the NEXT express bus (which wouldn't come for half an hour), I was informed that the closest place to buy a ticket was down the Avenue at a laundromat. I went sprinting off, theme music running through my brain. I got the ticket! We made the bus! We got back less than an hour before Liz had to start work, but all in all it was okay!
That night I was informed the car had been parked in the wrong place. The next day the guy told us a note had been put on it saying it would be towed. And the next morning I found myself catching the confounded express bus, all alone, back to Staten Island.
But I succeeded. I moved that car to its proper place (the side of the road, apparently), and without the dramatic confrontation I was imagining with the tow truck man as he loaded it onto his truck at the exact moment I jumped off the bus shouting 'WAIT!! THAT'S MY CAR!!!' (Though perhaps that might have been a better ending to the story.) Still. Success felt sweet, especially since I've been riding on a bit of a wave of success lately and Amy's car being towed would have really broken that up.
Well for the most part it's been a wave of success. The night before my second outing to Staten was not a good one. Without going too much into details, it was brought glaringly back to my attention that I'm not always the nicest person, frequently to the people who mean the most to me. I know why I do it: It's a laziness thing. I spend all my time in public trying as hard as I can to please, so when I come home, or am around people I'm truly comfortable with, I stop trying as hard. But that's no excuse.
Succeeding with Amy's car was a nice bounce back, and a good start to a renewed attempt at being the man God wants me to be. That was the lesson, I suppose: When I'm working to please God, my relationship with others will fall into place.
I've begun to feel grown up for the first time. I paid taxes this year, and if that is not the bane of my existence then I don't know what is. I'm doing well on the acting front, but I'm also facing reality for just about the first time: I'm running out of money. I'm having to come to terms with the fact that I may not be able to support myself right now by doing what I love. That's not been the best feeling.
I'm blessed, though. It's pretty hard for me to forget that these days. As long as I remember that, the stumbling and stress and other stuff will be okay. Hope this finds everyone who reads it blessed too.
For those of you unaware, Staten Island is technically a part of New York City, but it's about as far away you can get without leaving. It's across the river, on a different landmass. We mapped out our course, spent half an hour finding the garage they had parked in, went sprinting back to the apartment to grab the keys (wouldn't have gotten far without those), and set off. The drive took FOREVER. We were supposed to be back by 2 (Liz had work at five); 2 o'clock rolled around and we were sitting in traffic on a bridge. But jamming to CDs, surviving on a canteen of Dr. Pepper and box of Cheez Its had a wonderful feeling of home to it; we weren't too distressed. Then we reached our destination. We could not find this guy's address anywhere. We saw the numbers before and after, but not his. Eventually we assumed he must be one of a cluster of apartments and we parked the car in the according parking lot. The bus came that we were to take back to Manhattan, and we were not allowed to enter, told that our Metro cards were not sufficient for this oh-so-grand 'express bus'. Liz was beginning to get concerned. The only other bus option was a local that would drop us at the ferry- no way we would make it back in time! So after some kind help from a man waiting for the NEXT express bus (which wouldn't come for half an hour), I was informed that the closest place to buy a ticket was down the Avenue at a laundromat. I went sprinting off, theme music running through my brain. I got the ticket! We made the bus! We got back less than an hour before Liz had to start work, but all in all it was okay!
That night I was informed the car had been parked in the wrong place. The next day the guy told us a note had been put on it saying it would be towed. And the next morning I found myself catching the confounded express bus, all alone, back to Staten Island.
But I succeeded. I moved that car to its proper place (the side of the road, apparently), and without the dramatic confrontation I was imagining with the tow truck man as he loaded it onto his truck at the exact moment I jumped off the bus shouting 'WAIT!! THAT'S MY CAR!!!' (Though perhaps that might have been a better ending to the story.) Still. Success felt sweet, especially since I've been riding on a bit of a wave of success lately and Amy's car being towed would have really broken that up.
Well for the most part it's been a wave of success. The night before my second outing to Staten was not a good one. Without going too much into details, it was brought glaringly back to my attention that I'm not always the nicest person, frequently to the people who mean the most to me. I know why I do it: It's a laziness thing. I spend all my time in public trying as hard as I can to please, so when I come home, or am around people I'm truly comfortable with, I stop trying as hard. But that's no excuse.
Succeeding with Amy's car was a nice bounce back, and a good start to a renewed attempt at being the man God wants me to be. That was the lesson, I suppose: When I'm working to please God, my relationship with others will fall into place.
I've begun to feel grown up for the first time. I paid taxes this year, and if that is not the bane of my existence then I don't know what is. I'm doing well on the acting front, but I'm also facing reality for just about the first time: I'm running out of money. I'm having to come to terms with the fact that I may not be able to support myself right now by doing what I love. That's not been the best feeling.
I'm blessed, though. It's pretty hard for me to forget that these days. As long as I remember that, the stumbling and stress and other stuff will be okay. Hope this finds everyone who reads it blessed too.
Sunday, April 1, 2012
Feeling like a real actor
Well. It's been quite awhile since I wrote anything on here. I doubt anyone is still reading, but I'm feeling a need to share (and, I'll admit, brag). So here it goes.
Quite a bit has changed. I returned to NYC from Christmas refreshed and determined. And gone were the days of sitting around in pajamas, watching all the wonders Hulu could offer, pretending to think about doing something productive. If I've learned one thing this past year it's that idleness is the root of discontent; get up, get dressed, and do something. I took classes- on-camera acting, some dance (though I gotta admit I slacked off on that front pathetically quick), and continued voice. Was I spending money out the wazoo? Perhaps. But I was happier than I'd been in months. And somehow that translated into more audition appointments than I'd ever gotten.
Was I landing those auditions? Nope. But I kept chugging.
Still. It ain't easy getting told no (or better yet, getting told nothing) over and over again. It begins to weigh on you, no matter how active you force yourself to be. And after three appointments in a row for which you especially prepared and were excited, and then get told 'That's all we need' before you even finish your material... Well, let's just say the depressed actor texts were beginning to be sent to Mom again.
And then I walked into the Richmond Shepherd theater to audition for The Wedding Play. From the first moment it seemed special. I started to read the sides they'd sent me, and then was cut off halfway through, 'Well crap, he hates me.' racing through my brain. But instead I heard: "I really love what you're doing, but I honestly think you're more right for the lead."
"You know," I said, "I actually thought the same thing." Big laughs from that one.
So I went back out and looked over the sides for the lead. I went back in, read, and walked out feeling better about an audition than I had since my very first. Three callbacks later, I had the part.
Not long after I jetsetted off to Puerto Rico with my family and spent a blissful week on the beach. It is remarkable how refreshing a week out of NYC can be. I returned back in time to do a short film by a young kid named Ben Konigsberg- He's fifteen. He's also amazing. Really. He understands how to make movies, how to talk to actors, and his script was retardedly ambitious- and he lived up to that ambition! Was a bit intimidating for newbie like me; I learned alot this past weekend. And I have no doubt that I worked with someone who WILL be a professional director one day.
And then I went to the first rehearsal of my play, rejoiced over my awesome cast and director. I think it's gonna be really funny. I can't wait to keep working on it. I've really felt like a real actor for the first time this weekend.
Life is good. God is good. I'm humbled, and determined to give it my all. I guess I did learn another thing this past year: Keep on believing.
Quite a bit has changed. I returned to NYC from Christmas refreshed and determined. And gone were the days of sitting around in pajamas, watching all the wonders Hulu could offer, pretending to think about doing something productive. If I've learned one thing this past year it's that idleness is the root of discontent; get up, get dressed, and do something. I took classes- on-camera acting, some dance (though I gotta admit I slacked off on that front pathetically quick), and continued voice. Was I spending money out the wazoo? Perhaps. But I was happier than I'd been in months. And somehow that translated into more audition appointments than I'd ever gotten.
Was I landing those auditions? Nope. But I kept chugging.
Still. It ain't easy getting told no (or better yet, getting told nothing) over and over again. It begins to weigh on you, no matter how active you force yourself to be. And after three appointments in a row for which you especially prepared and were excited, and then get told 'That's all we need' before you even finish your material... Well, let's just say the depressed actor texts were beginning to be sent to Mom again.
And then I walked into the Richmond Shepherd theater to audition for The Wedding Play. From the first moment it seemed special. I started to read the sides they'd sent me, and then was cut off halfway through, 'Well crap, he hates me.' racing through my brain. But instead I heard: "I really love what you're doing, but I honestly think you're more right for the lead."
"You know," I said, "I actually thought the same thing." Big laughs from that one.
So I went back out and looked over the sides for the lead. I went back in, read, and walked out feeling better about an audition than I had since my very first. Three callbacks later, I had the part.
Not long after I jetsetted off to Puerto Rico with my family and spent a blissful week on the beach. It is remarkable how refreshing a week out of NYC can be. I returned back in time to do a short film by a young kid named Ben Konigsberg- He's fifteen. He's also amazing. Really. He understands how to make movies, how to talk to actors, and his script was retardedly ambitious- and he lived up to that ambition! Was a bit intimidating for newbie like me; I learned alot this past weekend. And I have no doubt that I worked with someone who WILL be a professional director one day.
And then I went to the first rehearsal of my play, rejoiced over my awesome cast and director. I think it's gonna be really funny. I can't wait to keep working on it. I've really felt like a real actor for the first time this weekend.
Life is good. God is good. I'm humbled, and determined to give it my all. I guess I did learn another thing this past year: Keep on believing.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Recharged
Home is an idea that holds... very strong emotion for me. It's something many people search for their whole lives, or something they feel they don't have. For me it's the place I can go to lose my cares, to restrengthen and recharge; it's where my family is. It's where there's love. I guess I should count it among my blessings that I've always had a home worth returning to.
Anyway. Being home for Christmas and New Years was a much-needed and indescribably rejuvenating blessing. I've been back in the city now for two (three?) weeks, and I'll be you-know-what-ed if I'm not working my butt off (at least much more than I did the last several months). Classes and auditions and errands and whatever else all built up to me eventually deciding to do nothing but sleep and become a vegetable one day. Of course, once that old familiar laziness started setting in, something in my brain told me I had to get off my butt and get back out there. I don't know what has reinvigorated me so, but I'm sure glad it did.
I can definitely say I'm feeling much better now than I was when I left; of course, there's plenty of time left to become redepressed. Productivity breeds contentment, though. I have been living by that creedo since returning to le grande apple.
Still. There's always more I could do. At the end of the day, I still have my mind racing, trying to analyze the steps I should take. Part of this more productive lifestyle comes from a constantly self-critiquing attitude- I'm not cutting myself any slack anymore. If I want this, I'm going to have to fight for it. It's not gonna be handed to me.
Self-critiquing comes easy when you're stepping out into unfamiliar territory. My first On-Camera acting class is a wonderful example: I cannot even articulate the mortification of watching myself up there these first few weeks. Literally all I can see are flaws. But, dadgummit, I am going to get to where I'm satisfied with myself! Enrolling in dance classes is another great scenario: My first class I went to with my friend. She failed to inform me that it was an Intermediate Level class, and they're leaping and bounding across the room like it's nothing. I had never done a dance leap in my life. But I kept going, and have now been much more properly enrolled in a beginner level (which just so you all know does not really mean beginner. We were still leaping by the end of that class. I just wasn't the only one less-than-spectacular at it.)
I sit here tonight, far past when I should have been asleep, just a bit overwhelmed. I am a blessed boy. I look around at my life, the people I know, and I feel love. And that means so much to me. Love is the foundation of a life lived well. It goes back to the home thing; to feel love is to feel a place of home. So to feel love around me is powerful. It's being at home in the world. I don't know if that makes sense. I guess the point is this: Spread the love, y'all.
Anyway. Being home for Christmas and New Years was a much-needed and indescribably rejuvenating blessing. I've been back in the city now for two (three?) weeks, and I'll be you-know-what-ed if I'm not working my butt off (at least much more than I did the last several months). Classes and auditions and errands and whatever else all built up to me eventually deciding to do nothing but sleep and become a vegetable one day. Of course, once that old familiar laziness started setting in, something in my brain told me I had to get off my butt and get back out there. I don't know what has reinvigorated me so, but I'm sure glad it did.
I can definitely say I'm feeling much better now than I was when I left; of course, there's plenty of time left to become redepressed. Productivity breeds contentment, though. I have been living by that creedo since returning to le grande apple.
Still. There's always more I could do. At the end of the day, I still have my mind racing, trying to analyze the steps I should take. Part of this more productive lifestyle comes from a constantly self-critiquing attitude- I'm not cutting myself any slack anymore. If I want this, I'm going to have to fight for it. It's not gonna be handed to me.
Self-critiquing comes easy when you're stepping out into unfamiliar territory. My first On-Camera acting class is a wonderful example: I cannot even articulate the mortification of watching myself up there these first few weeks. Literally all I can see are flaws. But, dadgummit, I am going to get to where I'm satisfied with myself! Enrolling in dance classes is another great scenario: My first class I went to with my friend. She failed to inform me that it was an Intermediate Level class, and they're leaping and bounding across the room like it's nothing. I had never done a dance leap in my life. But I kept going, and have now been much more properly enrolled in a beginner level (which just so you all know does not really mean beginner. We were still leaping by the end of that class. I just wasn't the only one less-than-spectacular at it.)
I sit here tonight, far past when I should have been asleep, just a bit overwhelmed. I am a blessed boy. I look around at my life, the people I know, and I feel love. And that means so much to me. Love is the foundation of a life lived well. It goes back to the home thing; to feel love is to feel a place of home. So to feel love around me is powerful. It's being at home in the world. I don't know if that makes sense. I guess the point is this: Spread the love, y'all.
Pointless post, I suppose. But there you have it. I'll just share this (not sure if I have before or not). But it's one of my favorite songs:
Friday, December 16, 2011
I never know what to 'Title' these posts- My Thoughts on Life at the Moment
Well. The end of my first 'semester' (Am I allowed to say that if I'm not in school anymore?) of being the struggling NYC actor. I'm not entirely sure I would call it a success. It's been a lot of blank-faced 'thank yous', rejections, wastes of time, disappointments, and even the rare complimentary auditioner... who still doesn't even give me a callback. I even had one guy say, literally, 'GREAT job, James! Very good. Go wait in the room, buddy.' So I waited. They never called me back in. That was one of the most frustrating days.
For those who don't know how the entertainment industry works, it's still very much based on unions. There's the Screen Actors Guild, and Equity, the stage actor's union. There is another, smaller union as well. Point being: I am not a member of any of these unions because I have never been cast in a union show or film. I am what is known as a 'Non-Eq'; there's quite a horde of us. We wait from morning til evening at Equity Union calls, our names on a list that may or may not be seen. Any Equity member that walks in gets preference over us, BUT when they happen to have space, they fit us in. Now, the auditioners (people behind the table) are pre-told that we are non-union, so we are automatically a step down in their minds. But hey. We give it our all in those Equity calls anyway. Sometimes you don't get in, though. I seemed to be cursed with not getting in my first month; twice they called the Non-Eq person right in front of me on the list and then ran out of time. Those were tough days too.
I wouldn't say that this 'term' has been without its charms. I have fond memories of cheering on the runners in the NYC Marathon from our fire escape as they schlepped past us on 1st Ave; I think Julie & I were the LAST people cheering that day. And I did make a short student film that was quite an experience within itself. If I understand the script (which I'm still not sure I do), this lazy slob recieves a plant on his doorstep that has magical powers and tries to make him be more active and healthy... until it gets destroyed by a crazed lumberjack. I've gotta say, the two days of filming were two of the most fun days I've had since returning to this city. And there's been other experiences, other times.
Still. I would be lying if I said this has been an easy four months. I really thought I would have gotten an acting job by now, and I haven't. Having dropped out of school, I don't see hardly anyone anymore, and pretty frequently I feel very lonely. Weekends where no one sends or answers a text or asks me to do anything can make a guy feel pretty low. I constantly question the decision I've made, whether I'm on the right path career-wise, what I'm even doing here. I haven't been being healthy, which doesn't help the situation at all. And being told no over and over again, things not happening, and lack of activity all lead to a struggle to keep faith. We don't like what we don't understand; I don't like the way my life is right now. Sometimes holding on to 'faith' that there is a 'plan' seems foolish.
But faith is what brought me to the decision to leave school. Faith is what brought me to New York City last year. Every step of the way I have told God that I was giving it to Him. So I must believe that there is reason. I've got to keep believing that.
And, as hard as it is sometimes, I have to fight against despondency. I am alive. I am (relatively) healthy. I have a wonderful family, particularly a wonderful sister who has been with me the whole time. And I have passions and dreams that sometimes still overwhelm me. Walking down the street today, not too cold, just cool and crisp, the sun shining, the sound of light traffic and children and people living their lives; Sometimes you have to find happiness in just being alive. I mean after all, that's more than some people can say.
I am alive. I am unique and important. I am not giving up because I am pursuing my oldest dream and greatest passion. And (most days) that is enough.
For those who don't know how the entertainment industry works, it's still very much based on unions. There's the Screen Actors Guild, and Equity, the stage actor's union. There is another, smaller union as well. Point being: I am not a member of any of these unions because I have never been cast in a union show or film. I am what is known as a 'Non-Eq'; there's quite a horde of us. We wait from morning til evening at Equity Union calls, our names on a list that may or may not be seen. Any Equity member that walks in gets preference over us, BUT when they happen to have space, they fit us in. Now, the auditioners (people behind the table) are pre-told that we are non-union, so we are automatically a step down in their minds. But hey. We give it our all in those Equity calls anyway. Sometimes you don't get in, though. I seemed to be cursed with not getting in my first month; twice they called the Non-Eq person right in front of me on the list and then ran out of time. Those were tough days too.
I wouldn't say that this 'term' has been without its charms. I have fond memories of cheering on the runners in the NYC Marathon from our fire escape as they schlepped past us on 1st Ave; I think Julie & I were the LAST people cheering that day. And I did make a short student film that was quite an experience within itself. If I understand the script (which I'm still not sure I do), this lazy slob recieves a plant on his doorstep that has magical powers and tries to make him be more active and healthy... until it gets destroyed by a crazed lumberjack. I've gotta say, the two days of filming were two of the most fun days I've had since returning to this city. And there's been other experiences, other times.
Still. I would be lying if I said this has been an easy four months. I really thought I would have gotten an acting job by now, and I haven't. Having dropped out of school, I don't see hardly anyone anymore, and pretty frequently I feel very lonely. Weekends where no one sends or answers a text or asks me to do anything can make a guy feel pretty low. I constantly question the decision I've made, whether I'm on the right path career-wise, what I'm even doing here. I haven't been being healthy, which doesn't help the situation at all. And being told no over and over again, things not happening, and lack of activity all lead to a struggle to keep faith. We don't like what we don't understand; I don't like the way my life is right now. Sometimes holding on to 'faith' that there is a 'plan' seems foolish.
But faith is what brought me to the decision to leave school. Faith is what brought me to New York City last year. Every step of the way I have told God that I was giving it to Him. So I must believe that there is reason. I've got to keep believing that.
And, as hard as it is sometimes, I have to fight against despondency. I am alive. I am (relatively) healthy. I have a wonderful family, particularly a wonderful sister who has been with me the whole time. And I have passions and dreams that sometimes still overwhelm me. Walking down the street today, not too cold, just cool and crisp, the sun shining, the sound of light traffic and children and people living their lives; Sometimes you have to find happiness in just being alive. I mean after all, that's more than some people can say.
I am alive. I am unique and important. I am not giving up because I am pursuing my oldest dream and greatest passion. And (most days) that is enough.
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Things That Annoy Me in NYC
So for some time I've been planning to let you all in on the list of things that drive me up a wall on an almost daily basis about this city. Let's dive right in, shall we?
Today was a rainy day, and Staples ticked me off so I decided to finally write my whiny, complaining post about how my life is so hard this afternoon. Then I got on the subway ride home and there was a woman in the car with me that couldn't sit up straight, was totally unbalanced (I tend to think mentally as well as physically), and just clearly was messed up. I didn't know what to do. Some people laughed. I was scared to death she was going to tumble headfirst into the aisle. I wanted to help her (I wasn't the only one), but what could I do? So I just got off at my stop, and felt ridiculous that I didn't ask her if she needed help or knew where her stop was... or if she could stand up when she got there. And immediately I realized that I've got it good, and no matter how much of a pushy, impatient New Yorker I become, I better never forget where how big I'm blessed. And all these miniscule little annoyances should never keep me from taking a breath, putting it in perspective, putting on a smile, and being damn grateful for what I've got.
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- Trash. I've been to Boston. It is possible to keep a big city clean, but it has not been achieved in New York City yet. Here's hoping they figure it out one day.
- Saunterers. These are the people that apparently have nowhere to get to and nothing to do- they're just out to wander the streets of the biggest city in America and take it all in the most lackadaisical way you can imagine. They can attack anywhere. On the street. Entering and exiting the subway (so that you must literally herd them out the door in order to not miss your stop). In restaurants, on running tracks. They're movement generally involves walking in anything but a straight line as well. Which makes it all the worse.
- The people who stop IN THE MIDDLE OF A CROWDED STREET AT THE MOST INOPPORTUNE TIME because apparently they've suddenly been overcome with a revelation of some sort that literally stopped them in their tracks. They seem to enjoy doing this right in front of me.
- Escalator-Blockers. For those of you unaware, there's an unspoken rule on escalators: if possible, stand on the right side if you're going to ride, leaving the left side free for those of us in a bit more of a hurry to walk up. Some people (not gonna lie. mostly women.) appear to find some deep-rooted satisfaction in being the person who chooses to stand on the left, blocking everyone behind them even if there's an open space to their left where they could stand instead. Is anarchy taking over? Is this real life??
- The MTA, aka the Subway System. It is beyond my understanding how there is incessant work to be done on the Subway lines, and what is even more confounding is how it always needs to be done on the days when I'm in a hurry. Delays, changes in service, inexplicable huge crowds on the platform; you name it, it's made me late. And let's not start on the smell.
- It's expensive.
- It's expansive.
- It's crowded.
- It's expensive (worth mentioning again. All though life seems to be generally expensive these days no matter where you are.)
- People don't know how to do their jobs. If Julie were writing this post, it would be about the Post Office employees. Since it's my blog, we're gonna talk about Staples. Staples and I are not on good terms at the moment. The first time I went to Staples to print off my headshot and resume, the guy was so helpful, he figured out how to print my picture at perfect lightness/darkness, and it was cheap. I've been needing a refill. Throughout this past week I have been told by various Staples that they can't give me my prints until the next day (while I'm standing right in front of them in their open store with my flash drive), that they didn't know how to do that for me, that I could go do it myself (they'd give me the photo paper), and now today I finally went back to the original store and the guy couldn't match my picture at all, none of them looked as good as my first set did no matter how many ways he tried, and it cost me almost $40. I feel like it cost me less than $10 last time. Feeling an explosion coming on, I paid the sum and exited the store. Into the rain. (Again, this lack of intelligence in the workplace may not be limited to the city)
Today was a rainy day, and Staples ticked me off so I decided to finally write my whiny, complaining post about how my life is so hard this afternoon. Then I got on the subway ride home and there was a woman in the car with me that couldn't sit up straight, was totally unbalanced (I tend to think mentally as well as physically), and just clearly was messed up. I didn't know what to do. Some people laughed. I was scared to death she was going to tumble headfirst into the aisle. I wanted to help her (I wasn't the only one), but what could I do? So I just got off at my stop, and felt ridiculous that I didn't ask her if she needed help or knew where her stop was... or if she could stand up when she got there. And immediately I realized that I've got it good, and no matter how much of a pushy, impatient New Yorker I become, I better never forget where how big I'm blessed. And all these miniscule little annoyances should never keep me from taking a breath, putting it in perspective, putting on a smile, and being damn grateful for what I've got.
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Wednesday, October 19, 2011
The Return of the New York Experience!
So since I returned to New York City, I've been wondering how to go about starting to blog again. It seemed like a heck of alot of pressure and build-up after several months of non-blogging; how do I sum up what's happened over the past months, where do I start, does anyone read this, WHAT AM I DOING??? Oh, another day gone by! But then I thought what the heck. I'm just going to start like I never stopped. So here goes.
The other night I attended a fancy-shmancy charity gala for Broadway in South Africa. My friend helped organize the thing, and asked if anybody would be willing to volunteer the night of. With the promise of celebrities and feeling good about helping out, I agreed. I put on my cool clothes, tied my own tie for the very first time (Why didn't I just follow a step-by-step video online years ago?), and wore my glasses for some extra flair.
Broadway in South Africa is group of working Broadway actors who have joined together to go to South Africa and teach arts camps at the schools. They've seen kids leave gangs, come back to school for the first time in years, graduate and go to college. They've seen them begin to write music and plays, perform; the singers and the kids at the gala performed all original songs written by the kids. The program has gone from a small group of actors with an idea to the big charity it was.
It was ritzy, all right. I helped shepherd people into the right doors, make sure their names were on the list, etc. Then as everybody got settled, I snuck up to the balcony and snagged a good seat. The lights went down, and the first girl began to sing, and it was too much for me. It was beautiful. Such a pure, powerful voice, moving everyone in that room to cheers. It reminded me once again why I've chosen this life: Because art, entertainment, music, drama is powerful. It's important, and it moves people. Here's a group of actors literally changing lives with what they do. It was a nice little wake up call. Oh yes. That's why I'm here. That's what I'm working to achieve.
For those of you who don't know, I decided not to return to the American Academy of Dramatic Arts this year. It was one of the hardest decisions of my life, but it was a leap of faith I had to take. That's the key word right there: Faith. That's what I'm living on these days. But I know that there is a reason, and I know that there is a plan. Now begin the days of auditions, open calls, finding work, and being told 'NO THANKS' (or getting no response at all) over and over again. Some days I feel like a true New York actor, rushing from audition to audition, singing my heart out, and handing out resumes and headshots left and right. Other days I wonder what the heck I've gotten myself into. But even on the worst of days, I find ways to remember what I'm working toward, with little reminders like the one I got the other night. And I have confidence in knowing that I'm being taken where I need to go. You don't drink the water if you don't dig the well. So I'm gonna keep on digging. And I know that one day I'm gonna hit a spring. And it will burst forth and shoot into the air like a geyser, powerful and dynamic to all who see it.
(At least I hope so.)
The other night I attended a fancy-shmancy charity gala for Broadway in South Africa. My friend helped organize the thing, and asked if anybody would be willing to volunteer the night of. With the promise of celebrities and feeling good about helping out, I agreed. I put on my cool clothes, tied my own tie for the very first time (Why didn't I just follow a step-by-step video online years ago?), and wore my glasses for some extra flair.
Broadway in South Africa is group of working Broadway actors who have joined together to go to South Africa and teach arts camps at the schools. They've seen kids leave gangs, come back to school for the first time in years, graduate and go to college. They've seen them begin to write music and plays, perform; the singers and the kids at the gala performed all original songs written by the kids. The program has gone from a small group of actors with an idea to the big charity it was.
It was ritzy, all right. I helped shepherd people into the right doors, make sure their names were on the list, etc. Then as everybody got settled, I snuck up to the balcony and snagged a good seat. The lights went down, and the first girl began to sing, and it was too much for me. It was beautiful. Such a pure, powerful voice, moving everyone in that room to cheers. It reminded me once again why I've chosen this life: Because art, entertainment, music, drama is powerful. It's important, and it moves people. Here's a group of actors literally changing lives with what they do. It was a nice little wake up call. Oh yes. That's why I'm here. That's what I'm working to achieve.
For those of you who don't know, I decided not to return to the American Academy of Dramatic Arts this year. It was one of the hardest decisions of my life, but it was a leap of faith I had to take. That's the key word right there: Faith. That's what I'm living on these days. But I know that there is a reason, and I know that there is a plan. Now begin the days of auditions, open calls, finding work, and being told 'NO THANKS' (or getting no response at all) over and over again. Some days I feel like a true New York actor, rushing from audition to audition, singing my heart out, and handing out resumes and headshots left and right. Other days I wonder what the heck I've gotten myself into. But even on the worst of days, I find ways to remember what I'm working toward, with little reminders like the one I got the other night. And I have confidence in knowing that I'm being taken where I need to go. You don't drink the water if you don't dig the well. So I'm gonna keep on digging. And I know that one day I'm gonna hit a spring. And it will burst forth and shoot into the air like a geyser, powerful and dynamic to all who see it.
(At least I hope so.)
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